So the Bible says that if we spare the rod, we spoil the child. After growing up under the rod, I was convinced for a while that my mother was a sadist who cared nothing for me, or my feelings. About 7 years ago, I began teaching. 5 years ago, I had my first son and a year ago, my second. The more I interact with children, the more I start to agree, ever so slightly, with the Bible. Don't get me wrong please. I am not saying that you need to go upside the head of your children for every little thing they do, but there has to be something called structure or discipline.
I teach some children who have convinced me that either their parents collectively hit the pipe or collectively drugged their children. It isn't as if they simple behave in a manner that is normal for children their age. Some of these children are really depraved. They have no clue whatsoever how their present connects with their aspirations (or lack thereof) for the future. I have children who cannot read and are offended when you try to help. I have others who don't know enough to know that they don't know anything. But if you think these kids are bad, take a look at their parents.
When a parent attempts to argue you down because you gave a child a zero for having no homework, there is a serious problem. When a child comes in and tells me what happened on last night's episode of The Wire, there is a problem. Of course these students have a lot of other issues to deal with in school (majority white teachers although the majority of the students are Black), but it all begins in the home.
We did not all come from two-parent households- I understand that. We did not all grow up with a silver spoon in our mouth- I understand that. However, is it too much to ask a parent to actually care for a child? Would you rather deal with the issue when the child is young, or when he or she is in front of a judge?
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2 comments:
Worokya, parenting is not easy. This I know. I am currently raising 2 beautiful girls. I love them, but parenting is difficult. These children did not come with instructions!
The "law is for the lawless" I have been told from a teenager. Our government has tied the hands of ALL parents for the poor judgement of some irresponsible parents. So I am sure you can imagine it gets extremely difficult if you are of a certain ethnicity or come from a family make up that isn't considered typical. I have been taken to the law far too often because of someoneelse's opinion of my ability (or lack of ability) to parent.
Some of these parents you speak of have it even harder. Don't get me wrong... I am not making excuses for anybody. the fact remains- the system can box in a parent. Many of the parents you refer to are products of a generation who are known to experiment on many drugs(cocaine, marijuana, crack, LSD,etc.) many of these adults also experimented drugs. I don't believe these adults are prepared for life on their own. How can I expect them to provide their children with the necessary tools for life.
The "law' says get the children to school- it doesn't not say read to them and check homework daily. The "law" says they must have a yearly physical & dental exam (maybe)- it doesn't say talk to them about maintaining a healthy diet, physical or oral hygiene. The "law" says go to a therapist- it doesn't teach how to have healthy meaningful conversations with your child about feelings, how to use positive reinforcement or encouraging words. Being products of who were once the "lawless" they are highly misled. These parents are just doing what they are told is the "right thing" to do inorder to stay out of prison, keep their children and maintain government financial assistance.
I certainly cannot speak for all the irresponsible parents of school aged children. But I must say if they are not just ignorant, lazy, or preoccupied with work and/or school- being infront of a TV, or a judge is what they may know best.
I make no attempt to make excuses, but I must to try understand and make sense of what seems senseless.
Say it again, say it again!
As an expectant parent, I do not intend to spare the 'rod'. While this can be a discussion with varying views and opinion, in MY house the only opinion that holds any weight is MINE and that of my husband.
I'm always very interested when I hear people say 'He was never disciplined as a child thats why he's like that now' when speaking of the latest murderer, thief or vagrant. Yet people condemn spanking, hmmm.
Children who aren't disciplined by their parents typically have a difficult time with authority. Now we see a generation of young adults who refuse to adhere to rules (laws) and make life more difficult for others.
As a child most of my peers were spanked, as I also was, and we're all the better for it.
I must agree with you...Beat your kids!
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